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Overheard in the Classroom

"How delightful it would be to converse intimately with someone of the same mind, sharing with him the pleasures of uninhibited conversation on the amusing and foolish things of this world, but such friends are hard to find."
--Kenko in Essays in Idleness

I don't like sex.  I just like foreplay.
Can you imagine what that feels like?
What do you mean you didn't feel anything?
And how many people did you say you were with?
What do you mean they had sex?
Is the first time painful or pleasurable?
I didn't even get to see what he had to offer.
Does it always hurt?
You know how I feel about physical violence.
That seems slightly painful.
Yes, she likes it rough.
Memories!
You did all that in one night!
How did you do that again?
Everybody wants to know how big Mac is.
Yes, and how long was it?
I don't want to know.
Are you sure?
Where is it?
I'm going upstairs.
Doublemint or spearmint?
I drank it and it gave me pimples.
Whatever.
So, I'm a zookeeper now.
...and there's a twenty-five year guarantee on the casket.

[ Public Display of Affection ] [ The Son Who's Too Honest and the Daughter Who Asks No Questions ] [ Overheard in the Classroom ] [ Proverted Logic ] [ Don't Mess With the Moms ] [ Home for the Holidays ]

Return to Twisted Poetry Table of Contents

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